Europeans deregulate veggies!

Have you ever secretly thought there was perhaps something not quite right about Europeans? Have these suspicions been corroborated by the contemplation of the regs promulgated, or possibly perpetrated, by the European Union (such as it is)? Take heart: our pals across the pond have deregulated veggies. And fruit, too! Previously there were about one hundred pages of regulatory stuff seeking to vainly tame the obstreperous nature of the vegetable kingdom, although the latter is known to be a whole lot less obstreperous than the animal kingdom. Especially homo sapiens.

These regs had to do with important matters such as the cavity depth of celery and the allowable curvature of bananas. As you might imagine, The Eggplant felt a personal interest in this issue. It knew full well the Europeans would never accept a smiling eggplant. Or even a smiling aubergine. But a snapshot taken yesterday in a market in Barcellona (inset) showed that my relatives now feel free to come out of the closet. Not all fruit and vegetables have been liberated. Ten of them are still oppressed by unjust laws. And I am sorry to say that Italy was one of the countries opposed to this liberation, along with France and Spain and Greece- the very places people are supposed to be veggie-friendly.

Read the exciting details of this groundbreaking decision from the infallible BBC.